Feeling ready for a committed relationship is a key step in dating. But do your friends agree that you’re ready for a long-term relationship? As this week is Valentine’s Day, newer couples may be considering just how serious their relationship is together.
A new study from Michigan State University found that friends significantly agreed on who was ready for committed relationships — and who wasn’t.
The study, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, showed that friends who were perceived to be less ready for a committed relationship were also seen to be more insecure in their relationships. People with an insecure attachment style have elevated levels of anxiety and/or avoidance.
The researchers collected data from nearly 800 people embedded in friend groups. Participants reported on their own readiness for relationships, their friends’ readiness, and their friends’ attachment styles. This round-robin research design is one of only a few that focuses on young adult friends.
“Friendships affect so many parts of our life — not just our health and happiness, but also our romantic prospects. Friends can constrain or facilitate who we date. They can also help our romantic relationships flourish or subtly and not-so-subtly undermine them,” said William Chopik, an associate professor in MSU’s Department of Psychology and co-author of the study. “Judgments of readiness likely explain all sorts of reasons why friends help and hurt our chances of finding love.”
The researchers hope that the findings may offer insights for young adults navigating romance and encourage them to have open communication with their peers to better foster healthy relationships.
“Friends play a key role in forming and maintaining romantic relationships, from introductions to advice. However, there is rarely a chance to know how they perceive us,” said Hyewon Yang, a psychology doctoral candidate at MSU. “I hope this study offers a holistic understanding of commitment readiness from a social network perspective, while emphasizing the vital role of friends in pursuing, developing and maintaining romantic relationships.”