New research from Michigan State University finds that people often project their own levels of cynicism — the belief that people are only interested in themselves and aren’t sincere — onto their friends and consistently underestimate their friends’ cynicism, which could have implications for maintaining friendships.
In the study, 173 pairs of friends reported on both their own cynicism and how cynical they thought their friend was. A statistical approach was then used to examine whether people saw their friends accurately and positively, or if they simply assumed their friends were similar to themselves.
The study found that participants were somewhat accurate in judging how cynical their friends were but consistently reported that their friends were more benevolent and prosocial than they actually were. It also found that participants who were highly cynical also perceived their friends to be cynical.
“Friendships are incredibly important for mental health, physical health and overall well-being, so understanding how people perceive their friends matters a lot,” said William Chopik, co-author of the study and faculty at MSU’s Department of Psychology. “These findings suggest that friendships may depend on a delicate balance: We need to see friends accurately enough to know who we can trust, but positively enough to maintain cooperation and closeness.”
The study also found that newer friends significantly underestimated how cynical their friends were. This suggests that people are especially motivated to see the best in others early in friendships, perhaps because it helps friendships form and grow.
“Friendships seem to work partly because we see our friends in a slightly kinder and more trusting light than may be fully warranted, and that balance may actually help relationships last,” Chopik said. “But I also imagine all the ways in which turning a blind eye toward problematic behavior or putting our trust in the wrong people might be downsides to this. I hope the study helps people think more carefully about how friendships are shaped by both realism and positive illusions.”